TO APPEASE THE RELENTLESS

Google is announcing it'll start it's own Facebook/Friendster/MySpace social networking site, Uncle Lim has been buried in Genting Highlands, and I'm making this blog as a reaction to Chee Ming's outburst to my blog article about him being drunk. I'll say this, it's not big deal. Life is all about having fun and not regretting your decisions and I'll not regret making this particular decision. So I'll go on and make fun of myself on my own blog.


DISCLAIMER: What you may see following this might ruin your appetite and your impression on how I behave.


To cut the long story short, we were playing a game of truth and dare and everyone ended up ganging up on me. So here's what happened: I had to do it to appease my friends who weren't happy I never lost the whole night long. Friend just fought with her ex. And I just wanted to do something to make the whole crowd happy. Then they suggested cross-dressing. As some of you from IMU might remember, I cross-dressed once and hence the whole Shuttle-cock Tits nickname. Here's how the night ensued:

The guys who made me do it

2 of the 3 scoundrels




Mmmm, fungus



Being surrounded by girls makes it all worthwhile



This would make a good headshot for an acting audition



They only want me for my body. Now I know how you girls feel.

What an end to a crazy night. The best part was, we were all sober.

PICTURES I'VE PROMISED

As promised, pictures of Chee Ming aka soryo in his drunk state. You can read the earlier part of the night here.

Here are the classic stages of a drunk person:

First stage of drunkedness: Puking all over self




Second stage: Loss of motor function in lower extremities



3rd Stage: Spasm of fingers on sight of Chivas




4th stage: Laughing at any random events or sights
(in this case, someone's small didi)




Looks like an attempt at a blowjob :O




5th stage: Delusions. He's laughing at nothing. Sad.




6th Stage: Denial. He's still saying he's not drunk



7th stage: Sleep. Even while he's squatting. LOL

There we have it boys and girls, your classical 7 stages of a drunk person. Stay tuned next time for the Adventures of Sleep Walking Boy.

NET DAMN BLARDY SLOW

TmNet is damn bloody slow these couple of days. So no blogging till those nitwits speed up. It's damn frustrating. Grrrrr. I'll blog on Sunday.

FOR ARIFA

Friends are eternity, love is not
Company is as company well sought
Walking together hand in hand
Through the tides of sand
Close your eyes and remember me
A friend who wants to be
Right next to you when you cry
Right beside you when you sigh
Jackanese shall be my treat
The very next time when we meet

ORIGIN OF INGKY

Uncle Lim (pic), the founder of Genting Highlands, has passed away today at 11.20am, Harry Potter's Dumbledore is gay (not the happy type), and I'll be explaining how, where and when I got my nickname from. But first, Lim Goh Thong, one of Malaysia's richest man, has crossed over to the other side as of 11.20am. Maybe I can get some inheritance. Hmmm. As you see, my grandfather and Uncle Lim here came from the same village back in Fujian. The village is a very very small one and we both share the same surname. So maybe by some random luck we might somehow be related. :D Might mean I might get some moolahs! :D But I digress.


Most of my friends know me as Ing Kien or more affectionately, Ingky. Now where did this odd name come from? Well first of all, it makes sense as it's a shorter version of my real name. And people rather remember me as Ingky than any other name like Leng Chai, Cool Boy, Style Guru and others. I wonder why.


Back in Standard 2 which was approximately at the age of 8, there was a short story which we read in school about a naughty black cat called Inky. My friends then thought it symbolized everything I was: naughty, playful, mischievous and black (I was real dark then). And it so happened to sound like my name (dammit). So from then on I was affectionately know as Ingky. Stuck till this day which I think sounds kinda nice.


To seal the whole deal even further, a friend (which shall remain anonymous), decided to come up with a poem to go with my incredibly sexy nickname. After my primary school years it was forgotten as that friend left for another secondary school but then it so happened I met this friend of mine in college!! And that bastard remembered the poem he made up for me!! After that it stuck since. And it had been lingering around the mouths and minds of all my close friends.


Well here is what the poem sound like:


Ingky Bingky Bongky,
Mother bought a donkey,
Donkey died, Mother cried,
Ingky Bingky Bongky.


Hey, we were all kids back then!

HIDING PORN

HALLOWEEN IS LOOMING

Bomb blast in Pakistan kills hundreds, a weird antibiotic-resistant-flesh-eating bacteria is found in the USA (stay far far away), and Halloween is closer than you think! Problem is, no one in Malaysia celebrates Halloween.

Sucks that Malaysians don't celebrate Halloween's Day. Yeah I know it's a British/Christian thing but it's like a costume party, but at national level!! Imagine all the girls' dressed up as sexy nurses or policewomen. Oh man I'm drooling right now. But every place has its taboos, and in Malaysia, there are certain costumes you can't be seen in, or you might not survive the night. Here's a list of costumes which you should never ever try on in Malaysia:

1. Dress up as Osama bin Laden. Automatic death sentence.
2. George Bush (or any Presidents of America). The people here dislike the great Yankee state a lot. And I mean more than Osama.
3. A Pig, or any pork related costumes i.e. Zhu Pa Jia (of Chinese Odyssey). Not sure why anyone would want to dress up like a pig but knowing human stupidity, there might be some.

Actually any costume which reveals more than an inch of body flesh is not acceptable by Muslim standards. I’d imagine PAS and UMNO having fits if they saw any skimpy outfits like this one.

I wish the nurses at my hospitals dresses like that.

I WANNA GO INTO FEMALE TOILET!

US Vice-President Dick Cheney and Democratic candidate Barack Obama are related, YouTube announces anti-piracy filter (It either won't work or people will start another website) and I want to talk to you about reverse sexism.


You know how women always bitch about how we guys don't give them enough rights and stuff? I think they are starting to abuse it. Every little thing also they'll start bitching about equal rights. I also want equal rights!


Guys, ever been to a toilet at a shopping complex and when you are standing there peeing, an old Ah Ma will come and clean the floor while you were peeing!!?!? Happened to me so many times already! Ah Ma, I know you were trying to peek at me. Don't lie. Like what you see eh? Don't heart-attack then die ok?

So why is it that women can work in the guy's toilet and guys can't work in a women's toilet??? I've never seen a men cleaning a female toilet during normal office hours before! That's gender inequality right there!! I volunteer to be the first male cleaner in a female toilet!

Peekaboo! I see you!

If you want gender equality next time, start a unisex toilet. Now everything unisex already, hair salons, shampoo, T-shirts etc. So toilet also should be unisex, like in Ally McBeal.

This is what all Unisex toilets should look like

Ha! Gender equality in your face! (In this case, backside)

SILENT REBEL #2: THE SUB

Al Gore wins the Nobel Peace Prize 2007 (WTF?), AirBus finally delivered their first completed A380 to Singapore Airlines after an 18 month delay, and today is the second addition of the Silent Rebel series. Topic of today, my sense of fashion! Honest to god, I've had more than a few friends tell me that I don't dress like a typical doctor. Honestly, how does a regular doctor dress? I mentioned this to my brother once and we both agreed we'll try to break typical stereotype dress codes in the hospitals or at least, try to stretch it over it's limit.

So I opened my closet one day and I realized most of my clothes were not your typical everyday clothes. For one, I hate T-shirts. I probably have 5 T-shirts at most which I would wear which are mostly low V-necklines. Regular T-shirts suck.

And most of my clothes (minus the formal ones) are from Sub. It's not some form of submariner's costume but a clothing franchise from Hong Kong which specializes in clubbing clothes. So yes, that's what i usually wear. I did a before and after picture in which I removed all except my Sub clothes from my closet just to see how much I have going there.

Holy Mother that's alot

ingky 2-1 social conformity

And I'll still do my job as a doc.

HAPPY AIDILFITRI TO ALL

First of all, it's Hari Raya. Secondly, our Malaysian space tourist docks in the ISS and I'm still reeling in from the effects of sleeping late last night after a night out. Yesterday was a good Myopia (Malaysian Utopia) meet. Yes I coined the term so suck it if you don't like it. And no teeth please. Those present were Chee Ming (soryo), Hari (siput), Allan (as himself), Kok Kong (hikari), Xi Wen (ZenGreenTea), Hoong Mun (Zxen) and I (ingky).

To kick it off, we had dinner at Tony Roma's at Kuala Lumpur's new shopping mall, The Pavillion.

The food is similar to Chilli's or TGI Friday's and the portion was huge!! Even though famous for it's ribs, none of us ordered it that night. Almost none of us could finish our meal except for Chee Ming who gobbled down my leftovers and some more. Talk about gluttony.

After the meal, we went around Jalan Imbi looking for a pub called PML2 recommended by Allan but after going around in circles for 30 mins, we decided to settle in Passion instead.

Xi Wen and Mun Hoong



With Hari and Allan



Kok Kong and Hari with yours truly



Kok Kong, Xi Wen, Chee Ming and Ingky

After leaving the club at 2.30am, we went for some mamak and Chee Ming decided to detoxify using his mouth instead :)

We were even treated to some action when some Mat Rempits decided to bash some poor Indians. Had the whole motorcycle chasing scene until the police became involved. And some more bashing later on while the men in blue just stood helplessly and watched.

After dropping Kok Kong and Hari off, Chee Ming and I headed back to my place as he was too drunk to drive anymore. You should have been there to hear the things he said to me. LOL. Nothing homosexual of sorts. But LOL. I even needed to convince him he'll be sleeping in the guest bedroom as he kept saying he'd be happy to sleep on the floor. Again LOL.

All in all, it was a good night.

Catch the next update where I'll put up candid shots of the outing (Actually it's all about Chee Ming puking)

WOAH

Woah, Hari Raya hangover. No blogging until this throbbing headache of mine goes away. Maybe in a couple of hours.

WOAH

THE HEAVENS

The stars had seemed to realign
The moon as bright as it could shine
It seems as though the Heavens had come to grieve
A departure of a good friend who has to leave
For a world of her own where she can mould
A better future where countless of dreams could unfold


Even though our encounter was brief
It will outlast most experiences I believe
And when the very next time we meet
We shall very well visit
A place where time stands still
So we could recollect our memories and thrills
Of happy and of sad
Of cheerful and of glad

MOSCOW, WE HAVE LIFTOFF

Jennifer Lopez and hubby Mark Anthony announces they are expecting twins, Malaysia's first cosmonaut /astronaut /angkasawan /angkasa-two lifted off at local time 9.21pm today and this very event makes me miss the good ole' Red Nation, the Hammer and Sickle, formerly known as U.S.S.R./ C.C.C.P., the one and only Russian Federation. Led by a former KGB Director, a bald dude and in some parts considered a sex symbol by women above the age of 120, the Red Nation is slowly moving up the ranks in terms of economy, politics and espionage. Who'd ever forget the Litvinyenko case?


As I left the Russian Federation officially on the 20/07/07, I'd never imagine I'd miss the place. If you've stayed there, you'd know it sucks. Balls. Big time. Even more than Jenna Jameson. But I managed to compile a list of stuff in which the Red Army triumphs over it's enemies in every way.

1. Communist construction workers. They pwn. Literally. Which country would have their slaves, erm, I mean labourers toil through the sweltering temperatures of 40ºC and the cold harsh winters of -40ºC just to finish an apartment complex in under a year? Go Reds!
2. Girls. Hundreds of girls walking by you day in day out who could qualify for supermodels in most parts of the planet. Enough said.
3. Fashion. I've always told my friends this: Milan and Paris designed the clothes for Russians to wear. Coupled with model-like citizens, it's no wonder brides.ru is so popular.
4. Mafias. It's probably the only nation left where this secret underground society still holds absolute power over it's people and nation. The first Godfather movie pwns.
5. Discipline. Pure communist discipline. No wussy American whining either. Do it or risk getting shot in the face. Explains why #1 works so well.
   
6. AK-47. Cheap, light and abundant, it's no wonder it is used by every terrorist organization in the world. The AK-47 killed more people than all the other guns combined. It rules. Except when you are being shot by it.
7. Space exploration. Using recycled aluminum soda cans, their cheap but yet effective rockets make regular trips to the ISS and back with hardly any hitch unlike space shuttles. Even NASA has opted to stop their shuttle program and contracted all their space logistics to Star City, Moscow.
8. Unpredictable weather. This has its upside. Imagine playing with snow in the middle of May, windbreakers in June and chics with no bras most of the time. Their unpredictable weather has helped defend their land against foreign invaders 3 times. Sweden in 1707, Napoleon in 1812, and Nazi Germany in 1943. All 3 succumbed to Russian weather.
9. Vices. Imagine this. The license to cigarette tax is held by the Orthodox Church, vodkas are drunk more regular than water and most of the hot chicks turn into "escorts" by night. It's like Grand Theft Auto except you are living it.
10. Mother Russia. Standing at 85m in the middle of the Volgograd city, it's almost 2x the height of Lady Liberty. And it carries a sword instead of a wussy book. Swords cut through books, it's a fact.

For Mother Russia!

THE SILENT REBEL #1

40th Anniversary of Che Guevara's death today, Malaysia's first astronaut launches tomorrow morning and it's Nicole Tan's birthday today! A little recap, Nicole's a good friend of mine of whom I featured in my previous article. Yeap. I wish you a very happy birthday Nic. Hope you'd have a great time there in Oz and hope I'd win one of your weird little contests.



Anyway, the topic today is called "Silent Rebel". Just what is a silent rebel? In my own words (because I couldn't care less for your opinion), a silent rebel is someone who goes against common social conformities but discreetly. Yup. Shhhhhhh.

I consider part of myself a silent rebel. Why? I don't know. I just think we shouldn't conform to society 100%. Individualism is pretty important. You don't want to known as a sheep for the rest of your life do you?

So in what ways have I rebelled? Well just incase my viewers don't know, I'm in the business of saving lifes and I have a short prefix in front of my name which starts with the letter "D".

Back in med school, I had 2 ear ring piercings on my left ear. Yay for me!

ingky 1-0 social conformity

But after graduation I removed it because it's frowned upon in my line of work. So booooo!

ingky 1-1 social conformity

What else have I rebelled against? Stay tuned next time for the second part of the Silent Rebel series.

С днем рождения Николь!
Happy birthday Nicole!

FAREWELL

Time is our enemy
Not giving us a chance to be
The closest of friends this world has seen
Nothing could have stood between
Nothing could have separated us
Not even the deadliest curse

But the threads of fate has already been woven
The decided path which you have chosen
To leave here for a better place
For a better future where you could embrace

A dream for which you had strived
For a reality also known as life
For I hope we shall meet again
In the near future when our dreams will reign
But for now I would like to say
I have not regretted knowing you that particular day
The day when we knew we had a special connection
A feeling tuned to a fine perfection
A feeling which I'll forever keep
A feeling known as eternal friendship.

FACEBOOK

Ig Noble Awards are due again for 2007, girl needed a 2nd heart due to immune rejection and I am sitting at home alone on a hot but lovely Friday night. Earlier today, I logged into my friendster after a few days of inactivity and saw a weird friend request. It was really really weird. Click here to view (Warning: I won't be responsible for any vomiting or loss of appetite). Why do I find that weird since I'm in the medical profession anyway? Maybe it's because it was added to a social network website, somewhere I least expected. Honestly dude, what were u thinking of? Childbirth is a wonderful process and it should not be belittled to Youtube clips and Friendster pages. That is why I prefer Facebook. Lesser idiots. Honestly.



What is Facebook you ask? It's for those living in the 21st century. Microsoft recently valued Facebook at US$10billion (WTF!!?!?!). Friendster is usually filled with South East Asians with little or no white folks on it. Facebook is something like Myspace, loads of Americans and other white meats, loads of chics and guys with "angles" (Check this Myspace movie for reference, it's hilarious) but with easy customizable 3rd party applications. Honestly, it's a fun social networking website. The only downside is, if someone had added too many 3rd party applications, it kind of laggy when it loads. So don't have more than 10-15 applications at any given time.

And did anyone notice the Facebook badge I've added to my sidebar? For those interested, you could go to the bottom of your Facebook profile and click on Create Facebook badge. And it's customizable too!!

So what are you waiting for? Go get Facebook now!


P.S.: I did not get paid for promoting Facebook. It's just that Friendster is damn annoying these days.

DEDICATION TO NICOLE

50 years since the launch of Sputnik, girl in Malaysia gets a heart after a 14 year wait and I have revived this blog which had been dormant for over 3 years. Without digressing too much, I shall introduce to you a dear friend of mine of whom I have not met probably since 2002. She's the one and only Nicole Tan.




Who is this Nicole? I shall sum her up in 5 simple sentences:

1. Met her in IMU
2. Used to bum at her house until the wee hours in the morning
3. Someone whom I shared loads of fun moments with. I was even in a few of her most "unforgettable moments". (Check No. 1 & 3)
4. Someone who makes me feel tall
5. Someone who I could tease and jerk around

Did I honestly look like that in 2000?

As you can see, she's pretty special to me. Thus I dedicate this poem to my close friend, my bosom buddy, my special arm rest.

Nicole is cute, Nicole is small
Nicole is only 5 feet tall
Living life as a permanent arm rest
Her patience must have been put to the test

5 years ago when I last saw
Standing straight she was up to my jaw
I do hope now she grew a bit
If not wearing heels she must commit


You can catch more of Nicole Tan at her own blog.

CREATIVENESS

October is breast cancer awareness month, the hunt for Nurin's killer is still underway and I'm going to appeal my posting to the Ministry of Health on Thursday morning. All I'm going to do is submit a letter stating the obvious reasons (not including the "secluded, backwater state" excuse) and hopefully I'd be able to charm the lady in charge to allow me to transfer to a better state. Let's hope it all goes well.


As I was driving to gym today, I suddenly thought of something which had lingered in the back of my mind for the past 20 odd years. You must know what our dear Jalur Gemilang look like and must have thought of this yourself. Doesn't our national flag remind you of a country which we supposedly despise due to their capitalistic ways? Thats right, the good old U.S of A.

Political creativeness by our country's first politicians or mere plagiarism? Even the flag's name is plagiarized! Nicknames for the American flag are "Stars and Stripes" and "Old Glory".
Stripes = Jalur
Glory = Gemilang

OMG we're soooooo creative!

Oh, you know PAS, the extreme left-wing Islamic political party in charge of Kelantan?



Go figure

REMINISCING THE TIMES

Take a chance with me
For we shall very well see
What our futures behold
Tales of legends untold
Forever I shall be waiting
Right here under the stars gazing

Gazing through your eyes
As I stare into space
The stars start to move
Into the shape of your face

REVIVAL OF THE DEAD SPACE

Protests in Myanmar, Britney Spears' career is officially dead and I decided it's time to do something with my dead space here in the blog'o'spherectomy or whatever it's currently called. Why you ask? Don't. Boredom does weird things to people, some even say boredom is where all religious people get their weird vision-o-rama. Prove that boredom is a bad thing. Moving on.

Just got my letter of posting today from the Ministry of Health. It's official boys and girls, Kelantan it is. WTFOMFGBBQ Kelantan chics here I co........wait, no I'm not going. Siao ah? Going there means signing my own death sentence with my own blood dripping from my nose due to nose bleed from seeing too much pr0n. I love my bak kut teh and bak kua too much. No can do. And I don't want to be called Ingky bin Abdullah from here on. But of course having 4 wives seems too tempting an offer. Hmmmm. Not to mention it's near Thailand, a place where dreams lie, and not to mention chicks with dicks. :P

But seriously, no offence to Kelanatanese people but it's the only place on this planet which moves against the flow of time. It is actually moving back into the Stone Age. Don't be surprised if I suddenly look like this in 10 years time.

Oh guess what??!?!

In addition to my daily rants, I'll be putting up a couple of my own poems! Yay for ingky the poet. No emo-goth-slashing-my-own-wrists type of poems. It's more of those lovey-dovey ones. So if ever you gave your boyfriend or girlfriend one of my poems and have a lot of juniors next time, name one of them "ingky" to thank me. Or even better, bring them over to my future clinic. :P More free poems are available in your nearest "Ingk-linik". Get it? Laugh dammit.

Life without a dream is like existance with no meaning